Helping Children, Other Pets, and Yourselves Navigate Grief Together
The loss of a pet doesn’t only affect one person. It ripples outward — touching spouses, children, and even other animals in the home. When we say goodbye to a beloved pet, the grief doesn’t end with their passing. It settles into our daily routines, mealtimes, and quiet moments that feel different now.
At Peaceful Paws At Home Care, we know that end-of-life care isn’t just about the pet — it’s also about the people and pets left behind. This guide explores how to support your entire household — especially children and surviving pets — as you process grief together.
The Family Impact of Pet Loss
Pets hold space in our lives in ways that are often hard to put into words. They greet us at the door. They follow us room to room. They sleep at our feet, ride in the car, sit beside us on tough days, and celebrate the good ones without ever needing an invitation.
When they’re gone, everything feels different — and everyone feels it differently.
Some people cry openly. Others stay quiet. Some kids ask constant questions; others withdraw. And some surviving pets seem completely unaffected — until they aren’t.
There’s no one-size-fits-all reaction to pet loss. That’s why supporting your family means creating space, structure, and compassion — no matter how each member expresses grief.
Helping Children Cope with Pet Loss
For many children, losing a pet is their first experience with death. It’s emotional and confusing. But it’s also an opportunity to model honesty, empathy, and healthy grief processing.
Here are some ways to help your child understand and express their feelings:
1. Be Honest — But Age-Appropriate
Avoid vague phrases like “went to sleep” or “ran away,” which can lead to misunderstanding or fear. Use clear, gentle language like:
“We helped Max pass peacefully because he was in pain and couldn’t get better. We loved him enough to let him go.”
Tailor the details to your child’s age and maturity, but focus on truthfulness.
2. Validate Their Emotions
Children may show sadness, anger, confusion, or even laughter. Let them know all emotions are normal. You might say:
“It’s okay to feel mad. I feel sad too. Losing Max is really hard.”
Avoid rushing them to “move on” or minimizing their feelings.
3. Create Memorial Opportunities
Give your child something active to do with their grief:
- Draw pictures or make a scrapbook
- Write a letter to the pet
- Help bury ashes or place a memorial stone in the yard
- Light a candle together
- Celebrate a “memory day”
Allowing kids to participate in rituals gives them a sense of closure and control.
4. Read Books About Pet Loss
Age-appropriate picture books can help children understand death and explore their feelings. A few favorites:
- The Tenth Good Thing About Barney by Judith Viorst
- Goodbye, Friend by Gary Kowalski
- When a Pet Dies by Fred Rogers
Helping Surviving Pets Adjust
Animals grieve too. Dogs may whine, pace, stop eating, or act unusually clingy. Cats may hide, vocalize, or change their litter box behavior. These changes are often temporary — but they reflect real emotional shifts.
1. Maintain Routine
Pets feel safest when their world is predictable. Feed, walk, and play with them at the usual times. Familiar patterns bring comfort.
2. Offer Extra Attention
Your surviving pets may need more reassurance. Spend quality time — but also allow them space if they seek solitude. Don’t force interaction.
3. Let Them Say Goodbye (When Possible)
Some pets benefit from seeing or sniffing their companion after passing. It can help them register the loss and reduce anxiety from sudden disappearance.
If this wasn’t possible, showing a photo or speaking about the loss in front of them (as odd as it sounds) may help bring closure.
4. Watch for Behavioral Changes
If signs of grief persist beyond a couple of weeks — such as refusal to eat, persistent hiding, or signs of depression — consult a veterinarian. Your pet may need extra support, or in rare cases, medical intervention.
Supporting Your Partner or Household Adults
Partners and spouses grieve differently. One person may be weeping while the other stays composed. That doesn’t mean they’re not both hurting.
Tips for supporting each other:
- Acknowledge the loss aloud. Even a simple “I miss her too” can open space for shared grief.
- Don’t rush back to normal. Give each other permission to feel off for a while.
- Split responsibilities. Grief is exhausting. Share tasks like telling friends, handling memorials, or notifying the vet.
- Talk about the pet. Share stories, laugh at memories, or look through photos together — if and when it feels right.
It’s okay to grieve differently. The goal is to grieve together.
Rebuilding Daily Life After Loss
The house feels quieter. The bed feels emptier. The leash still hangs by the door. This is when the ache settles in — and when routine becomes your ally.
Here’s how to gently reorient your family:
1. Keep Talking
Loss lingers in silence. Talk about your pet. Refer to them in memories. Say their name. It helps normalize grief and prevents feelings of isolation.
2. Hold Simple Family Rituals
You don’t need to stage elaborate ceremonies — but a small weekly “memory moment” (lighting a candle, saying a few words, looking at a photo) can offer structure to the healing process.
3. Use Visual Reminders Wisely
Some families find comfort in leaving their pet’s bed or collar in place for a while. Others prefer to tuck things away quickly. Either is okay. Do what feels right — and revisit that choice when you’re ready.
4. Establish a New “Job” or Responsibility
For children or surviving pets, grief can create a void. Giving them a new role — such as feeding fish, watering a plant, or writing in a journal — helps channel energy into care and consistency.
Grief Support Resources for Families
Local & National Pet Loss Support Options
- University of Michigan Pet Loss Support Hotline – Peer-led grief support calls (Check availability)
- Lap of Love’s Pet Loss Support Group – Free weekly online Zoom sessions
- The Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement (APLB) – Online chat rooms, forums, and webinars
- Rainbows Bridge Candle Lighting Ceremony – Virtual memorials every Monday evening
For Children:
- Art therapy programs
- Grief camps (some tailored to pet loss)
- Pet loss journaling or story-writing prompts
When Grief Doesn’t Go Away
Grief has no timeline, but if your family is feeling stuck or overwhelmed after several months, it’s okay to seek help. Signs someone may benefit from additional support:
- Persistent sadness or withdrawal
- Behavioral changes in children
- Ongoing depression in surviving pets
- Difficulty sleeping or focusing at school or work
- Increased irritability or conflict in the home
A therapist — especially one experienced in grief or animal loss — can help the entire family process emotions in a healthy, connected way.
Final Thought: Grief Is a Family Journey
When we lose a pet, we lose a family member. And healing from that loss is something we do together — in the way we speak, remember, comfort, and reconnect.
You don’t need to have all the answers. You just need to be willing to show up — for yourself, for your loved ones, and for the memories you all carry.
Let your grief bring you closer, not further apart.
Need Support Now?
Peaceful Paws At Home Care offers more than veterinary services — we offer guidance. Whether you’re preparing to say goodbye or adjusting to life after loss, we’re here to help.
📞 Call us: (248) 721-8667
📧 Email: info@peacefulpawsathomecare.com
🕒 Hours: Monday–Friday, 8AM–7PM
Visit our Pet Loss Resources page for more articles, links, and emotional support.